30-Second Boardgame Reviews

May 23, 2017

A Game That Blows Itself Up

“Fuse”

Work together to defuse the bombs that threaten your ship! In this cooperative dice-drafting game, cards represent bombs. You defuse them by placing the dice drawn from a common pool in whatever combination the cards requires: maybe a certain color or a certain number placed in a certain order. But be careful, you are working with your fellow players and you all draft from a common pool: don’t leave a player without a dice they can use or they will pay a penalty. Oh, and did I mention this was real-time with a 10-minute time limit? Frenzied action as players shout out what they need, what they can work with and what definitely doesn’t help them. Unfortunately, you will usually end up in the last case.

Basic, intuitive rules drive the action and the tension ramps up pretty quickly. A fun app also adds great thematic atmosphere to the whole affair.

One Line Verdict: Fans of real-time cooperative games should beam up to this one. Others watch the ship explode from a safe distance.

May 22, 2017May 23, 2017

The Next-to-Last Samurai

“Kenjin”

Battle your enemies for supremacy on the battlefield in medieval Japan! In this card game, cards representing different battlefields are laid out between two different players; thus requiring players to win on two different fronts. Your units are represented by different cards and these units have different numerical values and different special powers. Cards are placed either face up or face down (depending on the type of unit) next to each battlefield, which also have special conditions that can affect how the battle plays out. Players alternate placing units, trying to outsmart both players. After all units are placed, the total values of units are compared, battlefields are scored, and the winner, with the most points is crowned! Generally not the person who got their most powerful unit wiped out by a lucky guess on the part of their opponent (that would be me).

Lots of strategic decisions to be made between all the powers, the battlefield conditions, and the fact that you have to fight two opponents. A little like the old classic “Schotten Totten”/”Battle Line” only without poker hands and a little gimmicky.

One Line Verdict: If you liked “Battle Line,” join this fight! More lateral move than next level, though.

May 21, 2017May 21, 2017

No Ewoks Need Apply

Risk: Star Wars Edition

Yes, it’s by Hasbro, but that’s okay: a fast-moving, card-driven, dice-chucking recreation of the Battle on Endor on three fronts: fight in space, advance towards the bunker on Endor, and fight the duel between Luke, Darth Vader and the Emperor. Each turn players pick three cards to play which allows them to take actions on one of the three fronts. The Rebel player controls the Millennium Falcon and squadrons of X-Wings, B-Wings, and Y-Wings which offer different attack values. The Empire has TIE Fighters and the mighty Super Star Destroyer at her disposal, not to mention the sector-smashing power of the Death Star. Advancing on the Endor and duel tracks earn the winning player extra cards to play during their turn, perhaps changing the tide of battle in their favor. The Empire wins when all the attacking Rebel fighters around Endor are destroyed; the Rebels win when they advance to the end of shield generator track and destroy the Death Star!

The cards provide just enough strategy as you try to figure which scene to advance on, and the dice provide just enough randomness so the Death Star doesn’t toast your entire fleet. Admittedly, after several plays the Empire has never one, but that’s movie accurate, right?

One Line Verdict: The Force is strong with this game for a quick, light re-creation of this epic battle.

May 19, 2017

Mo’ Cthulhu, Mo’ Madness

“Tides of Madness”

Can you conquer the bizarre world of Lovecraftian mythos in this two-player, card-drafting, engine-building game? Begin by drafting one card from your hand of five and place it into your tableau in front of you before passing your hand to your opponent. Each card scores different points based on different conditions in your tableau: maybe you will score points for the majority of a certain symbol, or simply score for each symbol of that kind you have in your tableau. Or go for the big points by drafting Nyartholep, who requires one of each of the five symbols in the game. Or you can collect madness for an end-of-round scoring bonus. But be careful, collect nine madness tokens and you automatically lose! Three rounds are played, with one card left over from the previous round to help you in the next. Most points after the three rounds wins…unless you go mad by collecting nine madness tokens! Be careful, if you leave a card with madness in front of you, things escalate pretty quickly. As I found out the hard way…twice.

Card-drafting stripped down to its purest form: with two players, players quickly know what is available and it quickly becomes almost tactical as you try to develop the best combo for your hand while trying to prevent your opponent from developing theirs.

One Line Verdict: Take this descent into madness again with this different take on the Cthulhu mythos.

May 18, 2017May 18, 2017

Up, Up, and Away…

“Celestia”

Travel the skies as a steampunk adventurer as you attempt to collect the most valuable treasures! Players take turn being the captain of an airship: they roll the dice to determine the hazards – from lightning to fog to storms – and then the passengers decide: does the captain have the right cards to avoid the obstacles? If no, bail out now and get whatever rewards there are from the ship is currently at. If yes, everyone left on board sails on and sees if the captain actually does have the cards to save the ship from certain doom. If he doesn’t have the cards, the ship crashes and everyone on board dies and gets nothing and those who bailed out have a hearty laugh while savoring their treasure. Then the cycle begins from the beginning of the path. If he does have the cards, the ship sails on to the next lucrative stop and those on board laugh at those schmoes who had so little faith and bailed out early. Then the next player becomes captain and those left on board make the same hard choices. Special action cards also mix up gameplay and make those decisions just a tad bit harder. Stay or go? Or just make the wrong decision every single time and watch victory dissipate like the clouds surrounding the ship.

Part bluffing (on the part of the captain) and part press-your-luck makes for a fun, interactive game with great tension. The 3D cardboard airship also makes for a great visual.

One Line Verdict: Definitely climb on board and sail these clouds.

May 17, 2017

Shoot ‘Em Up: Euro Style!

“Adrenaline”

Lock and load and blast your opponents to little tiny bits in this boardgame version of a first-person shooter. Every turn you take two of three possible actions: move, shoot, or pick up either a weapon, an upgrade, or ammo. Cards represent different weapons: play cards to shoot, expend ammo to overcharge certain weapons for added mayhem, and spend ammo to “reload” weapon and bring the card back into your hand for continued death-dealing next round. You do damage by placing your damage counters on their player boards, and they on yours. The more you get hit, the more adrenaline (roll credits) you get, and the better your actions become. When you receive enough damage to die, points are scored: whoever has the most scores the most points, doing the first damage gets a bonus point, and everyone who hits you gets something. Repeat until the skull timer runs out, most points wins! Avoiding combat gets you not killed, but also you don’t actually score any points either.

Great self-balancing mechanics throughout the game, from the fact you are worth less the more you get killed to the way your actions improve the more damage you take. Moreover, the fact you can get points wherever you damage encourages equal death-dealing amongst all players.

One Live Verdict: Lock, load, gear up, and load out (plus any other first-person shooter clichés) for this one.

May 16, 2017

Empire Builders (not trains)

“Imperial Settlers”

Play as one of four ancient races: barbarians, Romans, Japanese, or Egyptians. Each race gets their own personal deck of specialized buildings, as well as having a common draw pool of more standard cards. Begin the round by drafting cards from a common pool. Using your resources, build buildings in your civilization, or use those cards to make “deals” and produce more resources for your burgeoning civilization. Or, simply raze the card in your hand for an instant hit of resources. But be careful, any resources that aren’t spent are lost at the end of the round. Production is key to this game: get stuff, buy stuff, get even more stuff, and earn enough points to win the game! Or lose, because you just got a lot of dudes and not enough stuff.

Deeply satisfying game as you ponder all your different strategies: do I build this building, or do I use it to make a deal? Which buildings should I raze in order to build this other, more powerful building? Or do I just raze this card and take the quick resources? So many choices, so many paths to victory. Not for those prone to analysis paralysis.

One Line Verdict: Make a deal and settle into this game!

May 15, 2017May 15, 2017

Built on Rock and Roll and Squares

“Quadropolis”

Become the master planner as you build your very square city district. Each player has a separate 4×4 player board, and on your turn, use one of your four architects to choose a tile from the main planning board. The architect number determines two things: first, the building you get from the main board, and then the district on your own board you must place the piece. Build power plants to power your district, apartment towers to gain residents, parks to absorb pollution, and retail to keep your residents shopping! But make sure everything balances out: each extra power or resident counts as negative points! After four rounds and (hopefully) sixteen tiles, calculate the points: each building scores differently, the most points win! And just a pointer, diversification is a good thing.

The architects make it seems like you are constrained choice-wise, but there are so many options: not good for the analysis paralysis prone. And there’s a Expert game too! The very definition of “elegant” gameplay.

One Line Verdict: Build this city, you squares.

May 14, 2017

Choo-Choo-Cha Boogie…Take Me Right Back to the Track, Jack!

“Ticket to Ride: First Journey”:

At last, a “Ticket to Ride” game designed specifically for kids! Fewer routes which all more or less connect to each other SOMEHOW, so you’re never quite cut off, yah! On your turn, draw two cards at random each time instead of choosing from face up cards, or play cards down to claim a route. Win by earning six tickets through connecting designated cities and even earn a special ticket by connecting your line from Coast to Coast!

In the end, you have a TTR game that’s still fun, and somehow, just as cutthroat. Choose your routes carefully though because you may place all your trains and not be able to complete enough tickets to win.

One Line Verdict: All aboard for a game that adults and kids can play together…unless you hate regular “Ticket to Ride,” then just keep walking.

May 12, 2017May 12, 2017

Alan Moore Would be Suitably Pissed Off

“DC Comics Deck-building Game: Crossover Pack 4 – Watchmen”

Hidden roles and traitors come to DC Comics Deck-Building with this expansion that adds the world of the Watchmen! Work together to defeat ridiculously hard challenges by contributing cards from your hand. Meanwhile the Secret Mastermind slowly acquires cards to unleash his Mastermind Plot! Then wait desperately to somehow play the right five cards (plus any extra cards you may draw during your turn) as required by the “Villainous Machinations” card to actually unleash the plot. Really hard to hide your motives WHEN EVERYONE CAN SEE THE CARDS YOU ARE PLAYING EVERY TURN. “Maybe I don’t feel like playing these cards” is never an acceptable answer in this particular game.

Maybe the problem is how we play discards: Just place all the discards in one stack onto your pile instead of spreading them out and saying “I have nothing.” So I guess this could work, but just seems way too difficult to both win the game and the traitor to, you know, be a traitor.

One Line Verdict: Maybe chuck this particular expansion out of a high apartment window.